We all know the sayings, “happiness means loving yourself,” “love yourself and the rest will follow,” “baby you should go and love yourself.” They make self-love sound like the easiest thing in the world. Although there’s nothing but truth to these statements, (aside from maybe the original tone of Justin Beibs!) sometimes loving yourself is a little bit harder than it sounds.
I am the first to admit “self-love” is a concept that sounds a bit airy-fairy, but it’s without doubt one of the most important things that we need to learn. After all, there is nothing fun about being mean to yourself, or holding yourself back with self-doubt.
This (unfortunately) comes from personal experience – one that is a little scary to share but if it can encourage even a few of those who read this to work on loving themselves, then taking on that fear is more than worth it.
My self-love story starts way back before I can even remember. Even in my earliest childhood memories I can remember feeling self-conscious about my size, a worry that was no doubt spurred on by being the first girl in the class to wear a baby bra thanks to my puppy fat “boobs.” I do remember teasing, but it is more the put-downs in my own head that still stick with me the most. I always compared myself to my skinny friends, going as far as thinking my parents wished these people were their daughters instead of me, because in my 10ish year old mind, skinny already meant perfect. There has never even be the smallest indication that my family thought anything of the sort, and the even crazier part is that I wasn’t unhealthy, I was simply in the puppy fat stage like many other children.
From there it’s the usual body image sad story – the puppy fat left but the mindset remained. I’ve always been active – dancing, football, running – and when I look back at photos I can now see the truth that I was never anything but slim. Despite this, my teenage years were scattered with phases of tormenting myself with this idea of being “the fat kid.” The thought that I would never be good enough until this changed, was a constant soundtrack in my head. And to make matters worse, I was just created another area of self-consciousness by refusing to allow my body the nutrients it needed – resulting in skin that I wanted to hide on top of a body that I hated.
This feeling, and the resulting fear of food and bulimia issues (still a little scary to write!) have been the biggest thing standing in the way of letting myself just be me. When you’re so caught up in believing such hateful things about yourself, there’s no way that self-love can thrive. It was only once I realized that I just no longer cope with saying such mean things to myself, things that I would never ever even think about in regards to another human being, that I started to focus on growing my self-love.
For me, the most important step was starting to put myself first by establishing daily meditation practice, and acknowledging my health was worth the time spent on it. This helped me to learn that thoughts are simply thoughts, and it’s up to us to choose whether we react to them or let them go. Once I started choosing to let the self-hate thoughts go, my self-love began to grow, along with the awareness that I am good enough. More than good enough.
The journey is different for everyone, and the great news is, that without even realising it all of us will already have some moments of self-love in your life. These are the moments where you completely let go, whether it’s by throwing yourself into an activity or doing something just because you want to. I can almost guarantee that these times, when you forget to be anything other than yourself, are the times that any specks of self-doubt or body hang-ups cease to matter. These are the moments that you self-love.
Of course, the hard part is carrying that feeling on when you are finished with your activity. And that’s something that takes a lot of practice. It’s different for everyone, and probably something that most people will always be working on in some way. Sheesh, I think I will probably be working on it for the rest of my life! But it’s worth doing, because the pay-off of feeling comfortable, happy, and downright sparkling in your own skin is a feeling you will want to make stick around.
One way to try and increase your self-love levels, is by finding those little moments throughout the day – little interludes amongst the chaos and noise where you can chillax (yes, I’m claiming that as a real word) and be nice to yourself, letting any inner bullying dissipate. Whether it’s starting as small as a facial massage while applying your Tailor Skincare Cleansing Oil, or as big as creating a daily meditation ritual, just start doing it. And then do it some more. And if it means you must do less of the things that usually mean putting yourself last, even better!
We want to help you have some more of those self-love moments, not only by helping you feel comfortable in your own skin, but with our Valentine’s Day giveaway (YAY!). Because no matter whether you’re coupled-up, single, married, “just friends,” or confused about it all, the most important love is the love for yourself.
That’s why we’re giving away a Rose Quartz Pleasure Wand from @_loveandluna for the ultimate crystal vibrations, oil & water organic @bonklube to get you flowing, some @tailorskincare Oil Cleanse to massage all the tension away, a bottle of lavender and blackcurrant kombucha from @theorganicmechanic to unwind and relax into the mood plus a Peony perfum + French Pear Candle from /react-text @georgeandedi to light your fire!
1. tell us about your most memorable Valentine’s Day (good or bad) 😁
2. follow@tailorskincare @theorganicmechanic @_loveandluna @bonklube @georgeandedi
3. For an extra chance to win head over to the @tailorskincare Facebook page.
Instagram is in no way affiliated with this giveaway. Comp closes 14 Feb.
Plus, keep your eye out (in other words follow us on eveerrrrrythang – facebook, this blog, instagram) as we start a series of interviews about what makes people love the skin they’re in.